November 09, 1999

lingering

Things in my life seem to be in slow motion right now. I keep hoping for some things to hurry up already, and some I have enjoyed lingering over.

The days between Hallowe'en and Thanksgiving seem to be rather uneventful for me, these days. I used to gauge those days by other events, in my younger and less responsible life with things like football games and first snowfalls (usually) up North.

Now those days seem less significant, even more hollow than I've ever known. This is still autumn, but it's not as fun here this year as previous years.

Even worse still, it's awfully warm here, especially for November. I have all the windows open here, and there isn't even a breeze.

. . . . .

I'm counting the days until Thanksgiving, for a few reasons... First, and possibly most importantly, it will be the blissful end of my baby-sitting stint. And, although we still need the extra money, especially with Christmas not too far around the corner. I'm sure I will be able to find a much less stressful and much more productive use of my time.

I've also still been holding onto the hope that we might still be able to afford/want to drive to Pennsylvania for Thanksgiving. But, even as wonderful as that would be, I can't really see it happening. It's too far, and way too arduous a drive for Wallace and I, let alone poor Savannah. This will be my first Thanksgiving not with my family. And that makes me sad. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for next year that we might be able to afford to fly instead. And it would be a much more enjoyable trip that way anyway.

It's too early to be much in the holiday spirit, and the weather is all wrong to really enjoy the autumn. I'm not sure how to feel, although listless would be a good word to describe my current state of mind.

We have a chance to replace our fossilized computer set up, but I don't know how/when we will be able to afford it. They are also offering ADSL here finally, with free setup and installation until the end of December. But, unless we can get the other computer, there's no chance in hell of this one being able to handle it.

I'm also working on trying to move furniture around, and add some as well. I need to make Ms. Savannah's room hers all on her own. And that means getting the monstrosity of a computer desk out of her room finally and into ours. And I can't really do that yet either.

I've got all these ideas and plans and seemingly no place to go with them. I'm disenchanted and pissed off, because I hate being this way.

. . . . .

I have managed to enjoy my hiatus from the journal. I've loved the month-long lead up to Hallowe'en. Wallace and I went to the Renaissance Festival again this year, with Ms. Savannah. We also went with my friend Maura, and her boyfriend, Kenny. It was a beautiful day, and it was good for all of us to get out together.

I have been happy, but waiting... now somewhat impatiently. And, I'm not even entirely sure just what I'm waiting for.

I hope I find out soon.

Posted by lara at November 9, 1999 03:45 PM
Comments
Post a comment









Remember personal info?