It occurred to me this morning, while I was playing with Savannah, the amazing changes I've seen in her during the past month and a half. She's only a shadow of the baby that she used to be, and is now moving into that toddler realm more quickly than I'd really realized...
She's sitting up, crawling, pulling herself up and walking with us if we hold her hands... When the hell did she get so big?
I haven't been able to step away from being here with her everyday to see how much she's grown and changed... And it just hit me this morning. I can't believe how much she has grown up.
Things seemed so unbearably slow when she was in the hospital. It felt like she was there for years, even though it was only a few months. And, even when she came home, I was still nervous and scared about how to be a mom, and how to take care of this tiny little baby who was on a monitor and who couldn't do anything for herself.
Things have definitely seemed different since my parents were here at Easter. Right after they went back to Pennsylvania, she started getting her top front teeth in, started sitting up and crawling. And, my whole perspective has changed drastically.
. . . . .
And, I really do want her to grow up and be a happy and healthy woman, but I also have a small part of me that wouldn't mind keeping her like this forever... Small, innocent, safe and happy in our own little world.
I also know that I never even tried to see this far ahead in her life... If you asked me last June, what she might be doing by this June... I'd not have been able to give you an answer.
Instead, here I am in complete amazement that my teeny tiny 1lb. 6oz., 12 inch long little baby girl is not so far off from not being a baby anymore. And every day that goes by she grows a little more, does a little more, impresses me a little more.
I also realized this morning that I need to try harder to step back a little more, and really see the amazing metamorphosis that Savannah's going through. And how wonderful and special each and every day is to her, and to me...