It's been a week since I came home from the hospital. One week since my parents were here. I thought I would be so glad to have time off finally, after the baby came. But, I'm not... well, not exactly, anyway. I have too much time to think, to be alone, to worry. Too much time.
I looked it up in my Webster's New World Dictionary, Time... There are eleven definitions listed just for its use as a noun. And millions of others, depending upon who you ask to define it on the street. I've been thinking a lot about Time lately; what it is and what it means...
When I found out I was pregnant, oh, how time took on such a new meaning! We had been trying to get pregnant for a while, and I felt I was physically, emotionally and mentally ready to be a mother. The first day of November was when I found out I was pregnant. It took three tests for me to 'be sure' it was accurate and it was one of the most wonderful days of my life. It was so amazing to me that there was another person growing inside me. From that point on, being the carrier of another little person, I never allowed that thought to leave my mind, awake or asleep. For very excited first time mothers-to-be like me, I'm sure this is not at all unusual.
Pregnancy defines time in a while different way. You count the weeks; this defines you and your baby. Certain things are supposed to happen by or around each week. Every week becomes a milestone, each day closer to the doctor's 'due date'. This also is a great way to prepare yourself for having a baby, as long as you and the baby stick to the schedule. But, even things that are supposed to be on a schedule, don't always remain that way... Trains, dentist appointments and pregnancies.
This wasn't the Right Time. Neither the baby nor I were ready. But there were no choices; no more time for lazy leisurely choices. It was Right Now or, the completely unthinkable. No more Time.
Hurry up! Do this Now! Here we go...
I'm scared, oh gods, so scared... More scared than I've ever been in my life. Not scared for me - for the baby inside my belly... No more Time.
I can't see anything, so I listen. I'm crying and I'm shaking. I look to Wallace, and there he is... Holding my hand, looking into my terrified eyes, giving me as much love and support as he can.
Help me! Help me make it through this...
Finally, between the beeps and suction noises and talking in the operating room, I hear a little cry. My baby. My little tiny baby from inside me; I can now hear a little tiny cry. I think feverishly, 'if the baby's crying, that's good... good to hear the baby cry'.
Wallace is told to stand up, to peer over the sheet to see our baby, and he does. He asks if we have a boy or a girl. But I know; I've known all along... Pause. It's a girl. Wallace and Lara, meet your new daughter, Savannah Noelle. Smiles, finally. More tears. Relief, for now.
Now, Time to wait and worry and hope.
And to love. All my love and time for my precious tiny wonderful beautiful daughter, Savannah Noelle.
...And so that is how she came to be, and why I'm so happy and scared and overwhelmed and worried.
Actually, Savannah has done quite well in the ten days she's been outside of me. She's had so many advancements, and very few setbacks. She's a wonderfully strong little girl.
Savannah Noelle Beeson was born Tuesday, 30 March 1999, at 1:34pm. She weighed one pound and six ounces, and measured twelve inches when she was born. She is the most beautiful baby I've ever seen.
It's only been ten days since she was born, and I can't remember what it was like to not have her in my life. And I never want to imagine what it would be like to not have her in my life again... She's my love and my life, and we're both so lucky to have her. And we can't wait to have her home with us, always and forever.
Posted by lara at April 9, 1999 01:03 AMThis is certainly really very helpful, thanks for revealing. I'll be self-confident people will look at things this related style
Posted by: Thomas at February 6, 2012 05:54 AMIt's straight to the point! You could not tell in other words! :D
Posted by: KFOzCJhKQTHpuUWzMp at January 6, 2012 07:04 PMExtremely easy by words but in reality�, a lot of things don`t correspond. Not everything is so rosy..!
Posted by: Buy micardis No Prescription at December 29, 2011 06:40 AMI have to move the likelihood having to do with thanking your for the authority strategies Concerning on a regular basis experienced looking for a web page. We’re hopeful for the precise beginning among my brand new higher education study since the comprehensive placement of feet could not has been in depth without the need for flowing onto your blog site. When i could possibly in any assist people, I'll be gracious to as to what I possess practiced at this point.
Posted by: Muay Thai at December 28, 2011 08:21 PMI have been examinating out a few of your stories and it's pretty clever stuff. I will make sure to bookmark your website.
Posted by: HTC Sync at December 27, 2011 08:54 AMDevelop the topic further! It is interesting to know more details..!
Posted by: CHRISTMAS PHOTO CARDS at December 27, 2011 05:19 AMI subscribed to RSS, but for some reason, the messages are written in the form of some hieroglyph (How can it be corrected?!...
Posted by: play video slots online at December 17, 2011 10:19 AMNot bad post, but a lot of extra !!...
Posted by: Famvir Online at December 15, 2011 11:48 AM52. "The road will be overcome by that person, who goes." I wish you never stopped and be creative - forever..!
Posted by: how to win playing roulette at December 7, 2011 11:05 AMI must make the facility pertaining to thanking one for your authority assistance We now have many times liked looking into your webpage. We’re hopeful for all the start most typically associated with environs investigate same research would not have been completely fill out minus arising up to your blog post. When i is possibly associated with a assist most people, I'll be pleased to assist to of what I've got built up over time from this point.
Posted by: sprinkler repair Richardson TX at November 21, 2011 07:26 AMI must spend some knowledge concerning thanking a person will at the experienced points I actually have habitually was pleased with examining your web site. We’re enthusiastic about any beginning relating to our own education study additionally, the comprehensive placement of feet could not happen to be carried out without the need for happening to the site your website. Basically could also be from any be an aid to other brands, I'll be privileged in helping in what We've taught at this point.
Posted by: sprinkler repair Richardson TX at November 21, 2011 05:58 AMGripping! I would like to listen to the experts` views on the subject!!...
Posted by: allongement du penis at November 20, 2011 05:17 PMI have to take advantage of the natural ability created by to thank the customer with the specialised regulations Ankle sprain probably demonstrated finding out web site. We’re awaiting the complete beginning within my own institution exploration along with 100 % foundation would not really are completed if you don't have arriving from up to your web site. Fundamentally may be associated with a assist certain people, I'll be happy that may of what We have now worked out from this level.
Posted by: Garland TX sprinkler repair at November 20, 2011 03:14 PMI have to have means concerning to thank for you for those effective guidelines I actually have quite often preferred testing your website. We’re waiting for the suitable beginning to do with my best higher education evaluation and also the extensive foot work could not are usually extensive devoid of on the way up to your web site. Should i continues to be of a be an aid to rest, I am grateful that will help you as to what People read at this point.
Posted by: sprinkler repair Garland TX at November 20, 2011 09:55 AMAre you interested in webmaster`s income?!....
Posted by: food storage at November 20, 2011 07:22 AMI envy you. The content and design of your blog is much better than mine. Who made a design for you?!....
Posted by: Argentine Malbec at November 19, 2011 01:42 PMHeartfelt thanks..!
Posted by: Buy Breguet Replica Watches Online at November 19, 2011 10:33 AMI have to grab the competence at to thank then you to get a premium steps Ive many times experienced searching your webblog. We’re enthusiastic about all of the graduation for the group higher education examination so the general ground moves could not ended up being submit before popping up to the site your web site. Residence may well be for any advantage of new ones, We are fortunate so that you can as to what Ive learnt came from here.
Posted by: Garland sprinkler repair at November 19, 2011 07:43 AMThanks for all the answers:) In fact, learned a lot of new information. Dut I just didn`t figure out what is what till the end!....
Posted by: Buy Replica Breitling at November 18, 2011 03:31 AMI gotta bookmark this site it seems very beneficial very useful
Posted by: google 1 at November 15, 2011 12:42 PMWhen I initially commented I clicked the "Notify me when new comments are added" checkbox and now each time a comment is added I get several e-mails with the same comment. Is there any way you can remove me from that service? Thanks a lot!
Posted by: meubelmaker drenthe at November 14, 2011 09:30 AMUFOw6j Left on my site a link to this post. I think many people will be interested in it..!!
Posted by: OEM software online at November 12, 2011 03:03 AMGreetings! I know this is kinda off topic nevertheless I'd figured I'd ask. Would you be interested in exchanging links or maybe guest authoring a blog article or vice-versa? My website covers a lot of the same topics as yours and I feel we could greatly benefit from each other. If you happen to be interested feel free to send me an email. I look forward to hearing from you! Terrific blog by the way!
Posted by: Erna Marze at November 11, 2011 09:45 AMI have to take over means involving thanking they for ones experienced recommendation May a lot treasured taking a look at net. We’re expecting this beginning having to do with your university query in addition the main research would not truly entire without the need of impending to your site. Fundamentally can often be of your help you to most people, I'll be happy aid with what We've got knew at this point.
Posted by: Allen sprinkler repair at November 11, 2011 06:24 AMNice read, I just passed this onto a friend who was doing some research on that. And he just bought me lunch since I found it for him smile Therefore let me rephrase that: Thank you for lunch! "They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel." by Carl W. Buechner.
Posted by: google plus at November 10, 2011 09:20 PMI have recently started a blog, the info you offer on this website has helped me greatly. Thanks for all of your time & work. "You do ill if you praise, but worse if you censure, what you do not understand." by Leonardo DaVinci.
Posted by: Adrian Cantave at November 10, 2011 07:41 AMIts like you learn my thoughts! You appear to know so much about this, like you wrote the ebook in it or something. I feel that you simply can do with some p.c. to pressure the message home a bit, however other than that, that is magnificent blog. A great read. I'll certainly be back.
Posted by: Vicente Lattus at November 9, 2011 11:19 PMOne of the morepowerful blogs I’ve read. Thanks so much for keeping the internet classy for a change. You’ve got style. I mean it. Please keep it up because without thenet is definitely lacking in intelligence.
Posted by: Zackary Guinto at November 9, 2011 07:52 PMDeference to author , some great selective information . "To have a grievance is to have a purpose in life." by Alen Coren.
Posted by: dakdekker friesland at November 9, 2011 04:03 PMI don't even know how I ended up here, but I thought this post was pretty good. Cheers!
Posted by: myp2ptv eu at November 9, 2011 06:51 AMHi! Do you know if they make any plugins to assist with Search Engine Optimization? I'm trying to get my blog to rank for some targeted keywords but I'm not seeing very good results. If you know of any please share. Appreciate it!
Posted by: Adella Bodreau at November 9, 2011 06:23 AMI think that your perspective is deep, it’s just well thought out and really great to see someone that knows how to put these thoughts down so well. Great job on this one.
Posted by: dakdekker prijzen at November 8, 2011 04:41 PMWonderful blog! Do you have any tips for aspiring writers? I'm hoping to start my own site soon but I'm a little lost on everything. Would you advise starting with a free platform like Wordpress or go for a paid option? There are so many choices out there that I'm totally overwhelmed .. Any suggestions? Thanks!
Posted by: Felicidad Edstrom at November 8, 2011 02:11 AMThis is so good to see. We have do more things like this for other families. They are protecting us and we need to support them in this way.
Posted by: Laquanda Woodert at November 8, 2011 01:58 AMThank you for sharing superb informations. Your website is so cool. I'm impressed by the details that you have on this blog. It reveals how nicely you understand this subject. Bookmarked this website page, will come back for extra articles. You, my friend, ROCK! I found simply the info I already searched everywhere and simply could not come across. What a perfect site.
Posted by: electricien-zuid-holland at November 6, 2011 11:08 PMHello! I could have sworn I've been to this site before but after browsing through some of the post I realized it's new to me. Anyways, I'm definitely happy I found it and I'll be book-marking and checking back frequently!
Posted by: Dion Leen at November 6, 2011 09:54 PMWhoa! This blog looks just like my old one! It's on a totally different topic but it has pretty much the same layout and design. Outstanding choice of colors!
Posted by: behanger utrecht at November 6, 2011 11:51 AMI consider something truly interesting about your weblog so I bookmarked .
Posted by: herbalife at November 6, 2011 09:44 AMVery interesting points you have observed , regards for posting . "It is seldom that liberty of any kind is lost all at once." by David Hume.
Posted by: aannemer gelderland at November 5, 2011 01:32 PMFor example, you may have angina when you exercise in the daytime, but not in the evening. ,
Posted by: e-cigs at November 5, 2011 08:01 AMI discovered your blog site on google and examine a couple of of your early posts. Continue to maintain up the very good operate. I simply further up your RSS feed to my MSN News Reader. Searching for ahead to reading extra from you afterward!…
Posted by: cottage cheese recipes at November 4, 2011 11:27 AMYou have brought up a very fantastic points , thankyou for the post. "The great object is, that every man be armed. ... Every one who is able may have a gun." by Patrick Henry.
Posted by: dakdekker flevoland at November 4, 2011 03:13 AMNice post. I am continuously hanging out on this place and I'm impressed! Extremely helpful information especially the closing section
Posted by: internet slander at November 3, 2011 06:43 PMVery nice layout and wonderful subject material , nothing at all else we need : D.
Posted by: Herbalife Utrecht at November 3, 2011 08:42 AMI know this if off topic but I'm looking into starting my own weblog and was curious what all is needed to get setup? I'm assuming having a blog like yours would cost a pretty penny? I'm not very web smart so I'm not 100% positive. Any tips or advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks
Posted by: Jon Wirth at November 2, 2011 08:07 PMHi there! Do you use Twitter? I'd like to follow you if that would be okay. I'm absolutely enjoying your blog and look forward to new updates.
Posted by: Haydee Putalavage at October 25, 2011 10:24 PM