i have a lot i could write about, but i'm not sure right now how much i want to say. so, bear with me.
wallace's company is closing up shop. as of today, i think. i was uneasy on tuesday, when we got the first word of it. i was scared last night, crying... but trying to be positive and strong for wallace's sake. and, today, i'm relieved (a bit) and even a little happy.
i mean, i've had some of this potential shit in the back of my mind for a month or so now. dot.com chaos and confusion has been getting increasingly worse, lately. wallace and i had even perused fucked company together, chuckling a little about who was going down, and how badly.
i smiled a bit, as we passed one of the now vacant iXL buildings, near where wallace's office is, umn, at least for today.
we had the karma coming, i guess. i shouldn't have been so cavalier, maybe. who knows? i don't think it would have made much difference.
there had been lay-offs in his office, but... i had hoped they could pull it out, make it work. but, they don't want to go any further into this hole.
this impacts us doubly, because the one child i'm watching right now is the child of one of wallace's co-workers, and i consider her a friend. and, losing that money, on top of wallace's salary brings us down to $0 income by the end of the month.
yeah, thanks. we're only trying to friggin' MOVE into a house, here, people. bad bad timing. gods.
but, there does seem to be maybe a bronze lining to this cloud... which may eventually turn into a silver one. but, i don't know. there is a lot of uncertainty for the next couple of months. and, i haven't quite decided how to deal with that precisely, yet.
but, i'm not crying. i'm not screaming. i'm taking big deep breaths, and reflecting on everything swirling around me.
this will be okay. this might eventually be good, even great -- with a little luck. but, i'm mainly concentrating on the breathing part right now.