this week, in 1991, i was so excited to be turning 18 years old. i was looking forward to my birthday, wholeheartedly. i was looking forward to starting my life. it seems like about million years ago, instead of ten.
this week in 1992, i was at the university of maryland, working on finishing my second semester there. i turned 19, and a group of friends on my floor did give me a fun and cool surprise birthday party, with alcohol, and with balloons and streamers decorating my dorm room door. even still, i had pretty much stopped going to classes. i was failing out of school. and, i was horribly depressed.
this week in 1993, i was in the middle of my first semester at edinboro university of pennsylvania. i was doing really well. i was making good grades, and living a full social life. i was happier than i'd been in years. i turned 20 that year.
this week in 1994, i had just met wallace a few weeks earlier. i had once again stopped going to classes. i had been horribly depressed again, as well. i did have one saving grace in 'sted. although, she and i were two of a kind at the time... she was as much or even possibly more depressed than i was. but, she did give me my very first legal beer, in her room, minutes after midnight of my birthday. and she went on my 'bar tour' the night of my birthday. i turned 21.
this week in 1995, i was turning 22. i was living in a teeny one room apartment with wallace in the depths of hell (philipsburg, pa) and working as a cashier at wal*mart. i don't think i need to tell you how much my life was sucking.
this week in 1996, i made a quick weekend trip up to meadville to see 'sted. she gave me my first pretty paper journal. i had written loft dreamy thoughts of where i wanted to go, and what i (eventually) thought i might want to be. i look at it now and think, 'wow, i so would have laughed at me, then'. we had started talking about moving to atlanta at that point. and i was still working at wal*mart as the courtesy desk manager. i was turning 23.
this week in 1997, i was getting help from my mom looking for wedding gowns. wallace and i had decided that we finally were going to get married, after being engaged for three years. i was still working at shitty wal*mart, and we had moved into a decent apartment located above a porn shop and a strip club. our life wasn't great, but it was certainly getting more interesting. i was turning 24.
this week in 1998, i was getting ready for my first birthday living in atlanta. i seem to recall getting ready to spend a weekend shortly after my birthday with 'sted in birmingham. i was working as a teacher's assistant at a montessori school here in atlanta. things were happy, and going fairly well. i was turning 25.
this week in 1999, i was pregnant and wallace had taken me out to a fun dinner for my birthday. i had no idea that i would be giving birth to savannah only a week and a half later. we were living in the apartment we are in now. we had recently gotten another new car, as i had wrecked our first one on christmas eve, 1999. i was working at a different montessori school here. i was very happy. i was turning 26.
this week in 2000, i was here at home with savannah. we had gone from a two income family to only one. things were difficult, but worthwhile and happy. savannah was doing well, and i really enjoyed being here at home with her. i was turning 27.
this week, i am still here at home with savannah. i'm getting terribly excited about moving into a house. (that's a total understatement, but i don't want to jinx anything. it deserves an entry all on its own.) i feel so adult sometimes, and completely not during other times. i've realized that i still don't completely know who i am, or what else i'd like to do in my life. and, i don't look forward to my own birthdays much anymore, they do serve as a good tool for marking and passing time. time learning, time experiencing. but, i'm happy overall. i'm a work in progress. i'm so much story left to be told...
so, here's my tribute to one incredible decade of my life... and, to the fact that i'll have to remember i'll be 28 years old when anyone asks.
actually, i'm really looking forward to savannah's second birthday with so much more enthusiasm and excitement. that's a birthday to look forward to...