i'd been floundering for a while about childcare here, after my last painful experience. i haven't watched anyone but savannah since last november. and, i'm so glad and thankful we had the time for her and i to just be together.
but, now i think, is a good time to start childcare again. she could benefit from the exposure to someone else similar in age to her. and, i needed a kick in the ass to be honest, and not just float through days unaccountable for myself and our home.
having someone else here keeps me honest. it gets my ass out of bed early, it keeps the house clean and the laundry done. and it forces to me to get dressed everyday, when i've been known to spend days in my pj's, just because the only other person i would see, other than savannah, was wallace. and neither one of them complained about me in my pj's. at least, not yet.
but, the extra money will be so helpful to us. and the daily interaction with a kind two-year-old girl, should be good for savannah.
i'm hopeful. probably more than i should be just yet. but, this could just work to put my life a little more in order, and make it a little less difficult.
or, so i'll be hoping, anyway...
i'm hoping 'sted was right when she said that there were no other children made like ryan... i don't want to wake up, and hate my life, like i did then. not. ever. again.