i'm always glad when i have a chance to talk to 'sted. talking with her or being with her seems to have a calming, centering effect on me.
we've spent a lot of time talking about this and that over the years. over the phone, over the internet, and in person. but, there are two things i can't compensate for when we're so far away from one another physically... first is the beautifully expressive way that 'sted speaks. i can't see it, even if she's on her cam. i miss that a lot. secondly, and oddly enough, i miss not talking to her, and just being in the same room together.
i miss the far and away days of being at edinboro, and curling up on her spare bed... reading and smoking and listening to the staccato clicking of her keyboard. listening to her spoon clink lightly in her coffee cup, as she sipped it. and looking up and seeing her and just being there with her.
i miss her. i miss her being down the hall. i miss her being in the same state. i even miss her being in the next time zone. california seems so desperately far away, when i'd really like to sit and just be with her.
but, we had a great conversation. and she can still make me feel really good, even if she's a few thousand miles away.
savannah and i are off to see her pediatrician today. and, i'm anxiously waiting to know how much weight she's gained, and how much she's grown. i think she needs to get a shot too. but, i don't want to think about that now. (i usually cry more than she does...)
and maura is coming over tonight, as far as i know. we're celebrating the holiday together. i'll have to call this afternoon and find out when i can go pick her up.
off to shower and and stuff. i'll try to let you know how the pediatrician visit goes...
Posted by lara at June 15, 2000 09:48 AM