i woke up this morning, twice... which usually doesn't happen to me. wallace had been up a great portion of the night, and he was still sitting at the computer at 5:45am.
i got up to go to the bathroom, and saw what time it was... and called him a dumbass.
i am really glad he's dedicated to his job, and he gives 110% to anything he needs to do there, but, gods... i don't know about having to stay up all night every couple of weeks to get things done.
i dreamed about savannah last night, and it was not a pleasant dream. and, unfortunately, for the life of me, i can't figure out why i dreamed about this particular scenario. i dreamed of us taking her to the doctor, and one of them showing us an x-ray of a brain bleed... but, she's never had any.
i know my little girl is doing alright. i know she's healthy and growing properly, and seems to be right on target with the appropriate milestones for her corrected age right now.
but, i still worry. i worry every single friggin' day. but, i think that's a bit more of the mommy thing, than the preemie mommy thing. or, i'd like to think so anyway.
i know i have some things to do today. and i hope i can motivate myself to get some things done.
savannah's already gone off for her morning nap, and i'm just trying to take a few breaths and organize my thoughts and my game plan for the day. though, i haven't been really successful just yet.
i still haven't written out that new schedule yet. i'm in the process of reading a book i haven't decided if i really like or not. i want to try very hard to have our apartment clean before the weekend. and, i look around and see there is a lot to be done. nothing particularly huge, but little things all over.
i hope i can get it all together. or, i'll just sit at the computer, and fiddle around with other stuff that i don't have to do. but, i'm gonna fight like hell not to do that. i hope.
Posted by lara at June 14, 2000 10:58 AM